Bon Jovi broke my heart and I am ok with that.

June 25th 2011 as the sound of Richie Sambora’s guitar faded into the warm London air and Jon Bon Jovi thanked the gathered crowd, I knew I had just witnessed a hallowed legandary performance.

I had seen Bon Jovi multiple times on various tours and loved every one of them, but this show was unique, the setlist was sprinkled with rarities, Sambora’s guitar playing was on another level and Jon’s vocals rolled back the years culminating in a version of Always that rivalled any other in the last 20 years. 

At that moment in time there was not a band on the planet that could rival that performance. I returned to my hotel room and immediately logged onto the Bon Jovi forum Dry Country I need that validation from other fans that my opinion was shared, thankfully it was. 

Over the next month or so more legendary shows were performed, songs returned to the setlist that had not featured for years including several from 1995’s TheseDays which many consider the band’s finest work. When The Circle/Live Tour wrapped in Lisbon with a special live streamed show I could of not been more excited for what would happen next.

My expectations were high, if Jon wanted to explore the TheseDays material again could that influence the songwriting on a potential new album? Would Jon and Richie take a break and release solo albums and potentially tour them? 

Anything was possible and over the next year and a half I watched/read and consumed any interview, article or mention of the band. Richie released a solo album Aftermath of the Lowdown and toured it which included a fantastic show in London which I attended. 

Jon meanwhile realised a couple of acoustic tracks which although wasn’t exactly what I wanted I found I could enjoy them for what they were. Most of his interviews dealt with him wanting to buy a NFL team and for me I couldn’t care less with what my hero did as long as there was the promise of new music on the horizon.

What About Now was announced October 2012 with lead single Because We Can hitting airwaves that day. Although it was not what I was expecting or hoping for style wise it was a catchy song. Since 2000 Bon Jovi’s choices for singles had been inconsistent for me it was the album tracks that held the magic for me. 

I fondly remember the guitar riff from The Distance blowing my 13 year old socks off when listening to Bounce back in 2002 and thinking Undivided was the greatest song the band had produced and being so proud when everyone at school watched the band perform on the music show CDUK and looking cool as fuck.

A couple of years later Have a Nice Day released and I bunked off school to sneak to our local record store to pick up a copy of the album, then returning home on the bus to listen to the album full blast. 

By the time Lost Highway released I had my first car and that album was the soundtrack to my summer including following the band on multiple shows on that tour. It was around this time I discovered Bruce Springsteen and started to connect with his body of work but nothing could compare to Bon Jovi.

By the time The Circle was released in late 2009, I was driving friends, parents and anyone I encountered mad with my enthusiasm and anticipation. For me this album was all I wanted it to be, it was mature, rocked (In places) and had a fresh sound, even to this day it’s one of my favourite albums. Although not universally loved in fandom, it seems to have settled as most people’s favourite album in the post 2000 era of the band.

The anticipation I had for The Circle was elevated ten-fold for What About Now, everything seemed to point to a potential classic. The album art was unique and featured augmented reality, promo shows were well received, and new songs sounded great especially I’m With You a grungey style rockerand That’s What The Water Made Me featuring a Bowie inspired riff. 

One of my best friends was also a massive fan and we regularly stayed up to the early hours discussing the band and the album engaging in discourse on Dry County and planning what shows to attend we settled on Hyde Park for 2013 due to the rise in ticket prices we couldn’t afford more, this I found frustrating. We fully expected the band to return in summer 2014 and hoped finances providing we could attend multiple shows then.

The Because We Can Tour started in advance of the album dropping and there was multiple livestreams from early American shows that resulted in very exhausting days at work for me after staying up until the early hours to watch them.Although not at the level of the end of the last tour the band sounded good Jon’s vocals were warming up nicely and the sets started to include several album cuts that I really wanted to hear live.

Then the album dropped, and unfortunately it wasn’t very good. After an initial listen where I text my mate to claim it was a classic that new album buzz dropped off very quickly.  Song’s were overproduced, autotuned and robotic, there was little flair and aside from a couple of solo’s no real Sambora magic was to be found. Reviews on the forum matched my own opinion and I was pretty devastated especially with the finished version of I’m With You. 

But I still had a show in the summer to look forward too, then the unthinkable happened Richie didn’t turn up for the show and unlike the Circle Tour it seemed like it was a personal choice not a rehab related one. Phil X would cover for him but most people expected Richie to be back in the summer, the closer we got to Hyde Park the clearer it was that Sambora was gone for the whole tour.

Although Jon was not at the same level vocally as the last tourhe gave it all as a frontman, proving that the band could still rock without its lead guitarist. I enjoyed the show, it was good if not brilliant, I finally got to hear Loves The Only Rule live but apart from that the set was pretty close to the one in 2011. When the dust settled I went home happy, but something had changed the magic wasn’t quiet there.

I also found that I wasn’t checking the setlists after every show, things seemed to settle down to a pretty standard set and even though there was the odd surprise it seemed to me that the band were heading to the finish line emotionally and physically knackered. The last show again was livestreamed but for the first time I didn’t stay up for it. 

It was also disappointing to hear stories about the production of the album, that Tico hadn’t want to be involved and Richie was barley there. More and more it became apparent that this album and tour cycle was purely a money grab, there was no passion to create music it was all about making money. That band of brothers at the end of 2011 now looked like a touring band for Jon’s dream project.

Later that summer I saw Springsteen at Wembley and found what I was missing from the Hyde Park show. Bruce had wanted to be there it was joyful and a life affirming concert where as for Jon months earlier it had seemed like a commitment not a passion.

For the next two years Bon Jovi would take a pause and if I’m honest maybe that was good for both of us. I spent time with other bands and enjoyed broadening my musical horizons.

But then in summer 2015, a surprise album dropped Burning Bridges alongside news of a new studio album, I enjoyed it for what it was a collection of outtakes and a few new tracks which really showed the band could make a cracking rock song in We Don’t Run. But with it came the sad realisation that Richie had left for good. Jon might be the heart of the bandbut Richie was the soul, it was hard to think that I would never see Jon, Richie, Tick and Dave together again.

This House Is Not For Sale exploded onto Radio 2 a year later, it sounded fresh, rocky and for the first time In a long while I was excited to see what was coming from the band.Promo interviews with Jon showed someone who had a point to prove and a musical project of which he was proud.

The album arrived at the most traumatic time of my life and I needed to hear from my favourite band. There was a lot on the album I loved, it gave me a boost at a time I needed it the most. But sadly, it would be Springsteen not Bon Jovi that helped me through this dark period.

Around the time of the album launch I joined Twitter and came across two distinct areas of fandom. One area predominantly from the USA could not accept any form of criticism of Jon and the band and would actively attack anyone who had an alternative opinion. Many of these people tended to have a fanatical attachment to Jon which was board-line unhealthy. 

The other area seemed more like me that was objective, could enjoy the band for what it was now and was more interested in the music than the cult of Jon. Even though I engaged with both parties it became frustrating that you could not engage in any form of discourse about a song without it getting personal.

I also had a negative encounter with a fan who promised me a ticket to the London Palladium show after he had offered me one on the dry county forum. It also became very apparent there were several clicks that would gatekeep bootlegged shows and unreleased tracks. This was in comparison to the fans I’d been encountering in the Springsteen community who actively encouraged discussions, shared shows for all and felt a more inclusive community all round.

I enjoyed following the early legs of the THINFS tour especially the fact we could download audio of the shows and although vocals were not perfect it was great to see and hear the band do what they do best. 

It would take until 2019 for the band to tour the U.K. and by that time my now wife had fallen pregnant with our daughter and we were in the process of buying our house, so unfortunately we could not attend the Wembley show.

Jon was struggling as the tour progressed and it became difficult to watch the band I love perform in the manner they were. Rock in Rio 19 was a particularly tough show as Jon looked in visible pain singing even the simplest of songs. Itwas again frustrating when trying to discuss this on Twitter fans would instantly tell you that you were not a real fan for showing concern and being disappointed what I was hearingas Jon still sounded perfect to them. 

Nothing I ever said was an attack on Jon, it was genuinely upsetting to see him struggle. When the tour ended I was glad and hoped Jon would get some help and the band would have time to recharge. 

The next track we heard from the band in late 2019 Unbroken was not really for me, it had a heavier feel but I wasn’t a fan of the lyrics and by the time the official lead single for the next album Limitless dropped I was beyond disappointed.

Limitless was the most by numbers, bland track that in my opinion the band has ever released. It was almost a parody and lacked anything that made the band special I was concerned that Jon has nothing left to say and couldn’t believe this was the song the band would choose to launch a new album. Many fans felt the same and things became very toxic on Twitter with again criticism not being allowed. 

Being an avid football fan I’m used to my teams performance fluctuating and discussing that game by game, it doesn’t mean I hate my team, I’m passionate and want the best for them.  In some ways having a favourite band is the same and for me Limitless was an own goal by team Jovi.

Around this time the YouTube scene exploded and there was a dedicated page showing shows from all eras of the band, along with comments section allowing fans to enjoy a chat as they watched. This was a fantastic way of experiencing the bands back catalogue and allowed a lot of fans to come together to enjoy the band and the music.

This was especially important to me when the global pandemic hit, the multiple “premieres” that happened helped give me things to look forward too and really helped bring together a beautiful community. Sadly, this was attacked by several people on Twitter bringing it to the attention of the band’s management for petty reasons with the hope of shutting it down.

The 2020 album for me felt like a Jon solo album. There was a couple of bright spots particularly Let it Rain and Luv Canand although I enjoyed it more than most fans it paled in comparison to Springsteen’s Letter To You that was released within weeks of it relegating 2020 to my least listened too Bon Jovi album to date. 

When the pandemic hit life was hard, my wife was declaredmedically vulnerable, work and finances were impacted and our main outlet from difficulties in life going to gigs stopped.Lockdown was a hard time I put my family and their needs first. I didn’t really need anything but both my wife and parents suggested I join the recently announced Backstage with Jon Bon Jovi fan club.

The fan club had launched pre lockdown and promised fans the chance to get closer than ever with Jon, boxes curated of his Favourite things were to be sent out quarterly and there was the big lure of unreleased tracks and shows. It was an expensive product but with no gigs on the horizon and my parents giving me my Christmas money early it seemed a no brainer.

If only I had listened to my friend James who doubted that the club would fulfil its promise. Boxes arrived full of tacky merchandise clearly aimed at a particular group of fans, oven mitts and aprons and the like. If this was really a collection ofJon’s favourite things I would be very surprised.

Worse yet the content on the website was updatedsporadically, sometimes whole months would pass with nothing. Most of the videos were culled from YouTube or previous releases, no music unreleased tracks ever made it out and the audio of shows that eventually were added were the same that aired on the Sirius Bon Jovi channels. 

I felt cheated and conned, any criticism was met with viscous responses. My priorities in life was questioned and it was insinuated that I took food from my child’s mouth to pay for the fan club, very bitter and toxic stuff. But I was not the worst to suffer from these so-called fans, a friend of mine had a fan actively attempt to discredit him and the work he was doing helping children with their fitness in the pandemic, it was truly vile stuff and the police were notified.

It was also hard to take Jon seriously after he promoted the single Do What You Can throughout the pandemic only to be one of the first artists to setup a gig under the Runaway Show umbrella. It seemed all Jon wanted was to make money and it was uncomfortable.

The Runaway Events were always mega money affairs, Itsoon became apparent that the fans that attended looked down on the average fan, claiming that you need to attend these exclusive events to be considered a diehard fan. Interactions with the bands management team clearly supported this and for me it felt like my band, the first band I ever loved was telling me that they weren’t the band for me. 

The 2022 tour came and was utterly heartbreaking to witness. I stayed up to watch a stream of the first show and was guttedthat Jon sounded so poor especially when the shows setlist included a number of fan favourites. Talking to my friends Jay and James I hoped that it was first night issues and Jon would work his voice into shape. It didn’t happen, each progressiveshow things got worse, the final show in Nashville broke my heart to see my hero reduced to a shadow of the man who ruled Hyde Park 10 years previously.

Twitter had become even more aggressive, and I stopped engaging, with fans acting in share disbelief that Jon was anything but perfect. Unlike in 2019 I decided not to get involved, I pulled back from fandom and was happy to have my memories. In 2022 and 2023 Bon Jovi didn’t feature in my most listened albums or songs. I followed news of Jon’s potential surgery and spoke regularly with my friend Jay when news cropped up. 

2023 was especially disappointing as many people considered it the 40th anniversary of the band, nothing was mentioned on the bands social media. The silence from the band was confusing. But towards the end of 2023 rumours of a new album and a documentary appeared, honestly I felt indifferent.

Then January 2024 happened, a rerelease of the bands debut album with a surprise midnight drop was cool and the live tracks were interesting. Then came the trailer for the documentary Thank You, Goodnight, I cannot express what a brilliant trailer it was and the excitement I felt watching it. Suddenly the band started to appear everywhere, interviews about the year being a celebration for all with plenty ofsurprises being teased I was intrigued.

Instead of discussing my hopes and fears on twitter, I closed my audience and focused on a couple of friends who loved the band but were open to criticism. It became fun, I’d look forward to a message discussing an interview or a scrap of news.

When the Backstage with Bon Jovi a digital museum dropped in February things ramped up further. Hearing demos and live performances from the band in the 80s and the promise of every era being represented I was beyond excited. The focus was on the music for the first time in forever.

The museum was also free thus opening it to everyone and not to the elite. The content on the site was the catalyst for reminding me why I loved the band so much in the first place. It wasn’t ever about Jon or Richie and idealising them it was the songs that they had created which had drawn me in and that’s what I wanted to celebrate. So that’s what I have chosen to do, to enjoy every album, every live performance and to focus on the things I love and not be bothered by others. 

It truly was fantastic to hear Jon singing comfortably for the first time in years at the Music Cares show and although the new track that was debuted Legendary was more pop than rock, I was able to enjoy it for what it was.  

Soon after the band announced a new album Forever and withno tour on the horizon it feels like the album has been madewith the singular purpose of making music as an art form. Early buzz for the album has been positive and I am really anticipating it. I have decided not to listen to any previews so for the first time since Bounce dropped in 2002 I wont knowwhat is coming next.

By ignoring the fanatics and focusing on my friends I have been able to really look forward to the release of the album. In LA there was a premiere for fans of the documentary and a listening party for the album, whilst in the U.K. the equivalent event was invitation only, although disappointing I am no longer bothered by it, I will get to watch the documentary with my wife and then dissect it with my friends in the comfort of my own home.

Just because someone has the ear of the management team doesn’t make them more of fan than me. Just because someone has an invite to hear the album before me again doesn’t mean I’m less of a diehard. 

Jon has spent a lot of the year discussing his vocal troubles and his want to perform again. Life has again been hard for me, and my wife and we also have a goal that hopefully in 2025 we will be sat in Wembley surrounded by friends waiting for the band to come on stage.

I don’t need to be front row anymore, I’ve done that and it’s great, but realistically Jon doesn’t care who his at the front and who is in the rafters, he is there to perform for everyone. These days I’m happy just to be there and focusing on the music because that is what matters and you know what those songs are for everyone.